Hope for the Weary Homeschooling Mom, Day 2 – When You Don’t Measure Up

Hey weary Mommas – I’m so glad that you’re joining me here, today!

If you missed Day 1, no worries, you can hop on over there real quick if you’d like.

Today’s segment is called “When You Don’t Measure Up”.

Does the title alone call to you, like it does to me?

Stacey tells her tale here, and it sounds much like mine – dishes piled high, the kiddos taking things that you had planned to beautify your home and using them in their own creative way.  Don’t get me wrong, that’s nice and all.  But for this weary momma, it’s about not being able to find things because they’re not where I put them.  And the mess…..OH the mess!

She goes on to say:

I see her staring at me with her hands on her hips.

She judges me.

She makes me feel less than.

She reminds me that I will never measure up.

She sighs a lot, pushing me to keep going when I have nothing left to give.

Her name is vaguely familiar.

Her house?

Well, let’s just say she has it all together.

If my baby ate off her floor…it’d be ok.

Today, I just can’t seem to get her out of my kitchen or my heart.

 

It’s so easy to measure ourselves against how we perceive others, isn’t it? Especially with the beautiful blogs out there with the nice, clean homes and the perfectly obedient kids who are quick to help out and clean up their own messes every time.

I read somewhere that we are comparing our every day lives to somebody else’s highlights reel.  Did you catch that?  We’re seeing the highlights from somebody else’s life, much of the time.  Stop comparing yourself to them, Mommas!

In today’s section, Stacey whispers this sweet prayer:

“Jesus, come today. Come here today. In my mess. To my kitchen, but
first to my heart. I am in need of your grace.”

I love this prayer from the heart. I think I all too often forget to ask Jesus to meet me RIGHT here in my mess. I’ve been known to ask him to take me away from it (remember those Calgon commercials? Like that.) But to come INTO my mess, and meet me right here? To bolster me up and give me the strength I need? Those are the prayers that I want to pray more!

And in case you’re not sure if God actually will meet you where you are, Stacey quotes this scripture:

“Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you,
surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” ~Isaiah 41:10

Now does the mess have to be a physical mess with dishes and laundry? Surely, not.

I know that in our homeschool, we’ve struggled lately. Not even so much with the actual schooling time, but all of the other hours. I need to remember not to look about me, but to let God strengthen me up for what I KNOW he is calling me to do. (I have had my doubts, lately, but underneath them I still feel that calling).

The highlights reel comment from above applies to your homeschool too, of course. We love blogging or talking about our fun little crafts or great field trips that we took, but not everyone will highlight the dramas or the meltdowns! {though if you look around here, you’ll find highlights of some our dramas and meltdowns 🙂 }

If you’re reading along in the book with me (I hope you are!), I encourage you to skip ahead to page 24, Help For the Weary Mom and pages 29-30, Verses for the Weary Mom.  Pick a scripture, write it down and cling to it!

 

Our discussion questions for today (I actually couldn’t pick just one!):

  1. Do you have areas of your life where you constantly struggle? Maybe your dishes are piled sky high, or your laundry looks like a small mountain. When you look at those visible signs of struggle, what are the first words that pop into your head?
  2. If God were telling you how to feel about yourself based on those areas of struggle, would His voice be the same as the one you hear in your mind?
  3. How often do you catch yourself comparing your home, job, income, or parenting to someone else?

(feel free to answer here in the comments, or leave me a link to your blog post if you choose to answer it there)

 

If you don’t already have a copy of Hope for the Weary Mom, you can get it for just $.99 for the convenience of having it on your favorite Kindle Reader, or you can get it for free when you subscribe to the MOB Society blog, or MODsquad blog!

 
Other posts in this series:

Day 1 – When the Gentle Words Won’t Come

Day 3 – Beer & Cigarettes

Day 4 – Why You Can’t Live at the Spa
Day 5 – When You Just Want to Give Up

Day 6 – Sometimes It Takes An Altar

Comments

  1. Castrodaryl says:

    Patience & slow to anger is my struggle as I homeschool my 8 & 6 year old sons while taking care of 2 month old baby. When I start to look at time & to do plan for the day I lose focus on God’s Will for me – love my sons as who they are despite their strong will & defiance & destroy-build character.

    In middle of my mess as a mother, I pray that God will see my mess & love me too as who I am – selfish sinner. Praise be to God for He does love a sinner like me more than I will ever understand!

    Whenever frustration & anger creeps into my heart, I start to compare my situation to others & start to assess what I’m doing wrong & feel I would want to be some place else & be someone other than me & mess I’m in. When it turns into ‘all about me’ mode, I start failing in all things. This is when I have learned to run to God with shame but repentant heart. Seek His grace & mercy and lead me through mess I have made. Re-focus on ‘all about God’ mode then things start to fall into place & my heart is again at peace even despite the still messy place I’m in surrounded still by ever so energetic boys =) with God, I’m the best homeschool mom I can be! Made perfect only through & with God! Apart from him, I’m a total mess & would have long quit trying to be good mother.

  2. I heard Anthony Evans, Jr. say recently, when we are looking at that highlight reel from everyone else, that we have no idea what edits ended up on the floor. So often we are guilty of editing out the real, and not purposefully, but we do, letting others thinks we are the Perfect ones.

    And it is in our realness that God shows up, does a great work and we get to point to Him. And He gets the glory.

    I want to be that girl you know? The one who is not afraid of the edits. I'm learning.

    • MOMKABOODLE says:

      I think I have the opposite problem, Stacey – I write about the messy parts, but I don't want to come off as being overly negative/complaining.

      On the flip side, I've had my share of comparing myself to other people's highlight reels. *sigh* (I think that may be part of what drives me to write about our messes!)

  3. Underhiswings says:

    Sorry, I broke it up into 3 comments because of my longwindedness. Let me know if this is a problem and I will not do it again! Thank you so much! Did not realize all that was stored up in my heart, especially at 4:00 in the morning! Hee! Hee! ;D

    • MOMKABOODLE says:

      Nope, it's not a problem at all (makes it easier to read, in fact). Glad you were able to pour out some of your heart. (Were you going to bed at 4 or waking up at 4??!) 🙂

  4. Underhiswings says:

    As far as comparing myself to others I notice I can get sucked into that when another mother may be sharing all that they are doing, curriculum, activities, remodel, etc. and sometimes I just shrink into my Eeyore "nothing is good enough in my life" place. But again, when I hear that STOP take that thought captive…I realize I am going down the wrong road and need to make a u-turn back into the right direction. Funny thing is I believe there is an exact scripture that Apostle Paul talks about somewhere in Corinthians about NOT comparing ourselves with others because it is simply FOOLISH! Yeah, Paul often leads me out of alot of dead end roads and how thankful I am for that!!!! ;D

    • MOMKABOODLE says:

      hmmm, I've been trying to find that passage that you referenced. I love the advice that Paul shares, as well – how right you are that his advice is good for those Eyeore moments (storing that one in my head – thanks!).

  5. Underhiswings says:

    When God gets a hold of my out of control place, whether internally or externally He is so OBVIOUSLY first of all LOVING so anything He says just tends to blow the wind out of my out of control situation and second of all it always TRUTHFUL. He is not always telling me what a want to hear but sometimes just straight to the point and LOVINGLY saying STOP and sometimes that is all I need to hear! I love how straightforward God can be because sometimes I can just simply be lost in a sea of lies that the only way I can be pulled out is by a simple, STOP! Oh how I love that simplicity!

  6. Underhiswings says:

    Areas of struggle for me would be some internal stuff and some external. Internally it would be insecurity and doubt, "Not doing enough math, schience, writing, etc., etc." and externally it would be that "you could really do a better job with meal prep" and keeping the house in order! I could often be found reacting to these voices by trying to find some escape plan by either looking up school alternatives that would do a much better job then me or leaving my house and taking my kids to a restraunt and staying at the Library for a really long time so that I don't have to deal with the messes and lack of energy I have to make the proper meal! Yeah, probably not the best way to handle things but funny thing is I have sometimes found that God meets me on my escape route and blesses me with encouragement by somebody we will meet or just an inner sense of things are really not that bad as a see a world outside my home that is hurting and lost!