Hope For the Weary Homeschooling Mom Day #1 – When the Gentle Words Won’t Come

 

Thank you  for joining me for 7 Days of Hope for the Weary Homeschooling Mom!   If you missed the intro post for this series, you can check it out here. (you can also find out how to get your hands on a copy of the ebook in that post).

To recap, we’ll be going over 1 section a day for 7 consecutive days.  Don’t forget to subscribe via RSS/email so you won’t miss a day.

The first of the 7 sections is When the Gentle Words Won’t Come

I absolutely relate to the first two sentences of this section, written by Brooke:

I haven’t had many gentle words lately.

If my mouth really does speak the abundance of my heart, then I’m overflowing with anger and fear,
lack of trust and doubt, lack of faith, and a desire to just give up.

Anyone else out there with me?  (Show of hands? Anyone?)

I find myself soaking up every bit of parenting advice that I can find that aligns with the Bible.  I’m doing a “Parenting by Design Daily Devotional” from a free Bible app that I have, and as I’m writing this post, I saw these words in the devotional portion:

“We can try so hard to be empathetic or understanding and yet find ourselves frustrated and discouraged.

That is when we need to spend some quiet time with God and His book, praying and looking for the direction only He can provide.”

Do you see a correlation to your weary days and less time in the Word?

Last week I wrote down this scripture and taped it to my computer screen:

“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters:
You must all be quick to listen,
slow to speak,
and slow to get angry.
Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.
~ James 1:19-20

(emphasis mine)

I love that Brooke suggests writing a list of things that we love about our children and sharing them with them. In these days of weariness (and not-too-gentle words), I know that I need to spend more time pouring love and words of kindness into them.

Our discussion questions for today:

  1. What does weary look like in your home?  Describe the physical as well as emotional toll weariness takes on you.
  2. Where do you turn first for comfort and relief?


Please leave your answers in the comments below, or feel free to post your answer on your blog and link it up above.

Other posts in this series:

Day 2 -When You Don’t Measure Up

Day 3 – Beer & Cigarettes

Day 4 – Why You Can’t Live at the Spa

Day 5 – When You Just Want to Give Up

Day 6 – Sometimes It Takes An Altar

Comments

  1. When physical pain is getting to me (putting me on edge) or life stress rearing it's ugly head – I am weary – and it comes out of my mouth! Prayer & time with Jesus helps me gain that new perspective – a little sunshine and fresh air is a good thing to lift my spirits while I praise Him – Praise music is a great tool to help me get on track!!!

    wonderful post – thank you for sharing!

    • MOMKABOODLE says:

      Absolutely, Kelli! The sunshine & fresh air really help us a lot here, too. It seems like we can be bopping heads non-stop, but the second we set foot outside, we all find that "reset" button and are able to relax.
      We've been listening to kids' praise music in the car over the past few days, and it has been REALLY working on my heart in a way that I wouldn't have expected.
      Thanks for sharing here, Kelli!

    • Underhiswings says:

      Fresh air and worship…ahhhhh…makes me want to grab some now! LOL!! ;D

  2. I think I tend to set a tone of weariness in my homeschool day when the dark cloud of doubt starts raining seeds and suggestions in my mind that, “I am not doing enough academics, ruining my children, surely “regular school would be way better than what I am doing”…combined this shower of thought just leaves me feeling PARALYZED! I think my children have a built in storm rippled that begins to pick this up and I can tell that they in their hearts begin to grab an umbrella of protection because they start behavior cycles that stem from their misinterpretation of storm rejection. As many of us may know, this doubt filled thought process actually has nothing to do with THEM BUT everything to do with my chronic case of insecurity! This cycle brews a terrible mess of emotional insecurity and the kids are great at mirroring this and the next thing I know I am trying to recover my emotions, sometimes by calling my husband and sometimes this can steer us in what feels like a “train wreck” of a day! My Hubbies can sometimes help but often it just pulls him into the storm. I have, through much trial and error, learned that my best “day saver” is turning to God’s word and letting HIS ETERNAL WORDS chase those destructive storm clouds away!! Sometimes I even have the kids pray over me as I transparently reveal this internal mess. It can blow me away how often the kids will become a sweet instrument in God’s hands as they receive encouraging words that spare our ship from sinking. It is often at this poking that God reminds me that this homeschool journey is NOT just about their academic achievements but about them also learning to be vessels of His Glory, learning to be a part of His Kingdom and learning how to take up these spiritual battles with Hod’s weapons of warfare. Relief comes quickly because His yoke that is EASY AND LIGHT begins to descend on my shoulders casting away that
    other TERRIBLE yoke. Yep, this pretty much sums up what makes me weary!!!! Praise be to God that His triumph comes again and again and my faith grown tremendously and allows me to TRUST HIM more and more being confident in His rescuing tactics. I am not sure this kind of growth could necessarily come if my kids were mostly apart from me all day long?

    • Underhiswings says:

      This is really from me UnderHiswings but I typed this response from my phone and had some difficulty. Sorry about that!

      • MOMKABOODLE says:

        I absolutely LOVE what you wrote here, Stacie. YES, the Lord can use our kids to help us and to grow us.
        I have often thought that He made our strong-willed child the way that he is JUST to get our attention sometimes. It's so easy to just fall into a complacent, selfish kind of behavior, but not with the child that constantly *needs* you and isn't afraid to make his/her needs known! (he was an extremely high-need baby, too).
        Your response has truly encouraged me….sometimes it's just about gaining a new perspective. Thank you!

  3. GinaLaughed says:

    Raising my hand with you to say no gentle words here either. Weary in my home right now is my 18 yo dd should be finished with school by now but she is not. Probably won't be till December. I have had a steadfast patience with her…gentle words of encouragement…trusting it would all come together eventually, but it has not. She is going through such deep emotional stuff…having meltdowns. I am at the end of my rope with her. She used to be such a spiritual giant, far surpassing her teacher! Now she is like a toddling christian…unsure of her faith. Lost and alone.

    And all this has affected my schooling with my son. There is just not enough time in the day to do in-depth work with both of them (18 and 8). This just piles on more stress.

    We have always had a peaceful household because I grew up in a yelling one and I am determined that my kids will not grow up in that. I am now the one yelling…all angry words…because I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to help her. I find myself asking where my peace has gone? What am I doing different that it feels gone? But God… I know what I need to do but I am just tired. I want to totally withdraw from it all because it is too heavy to think about…it feels like she will always have these struggles. I know it's now the right thing to do and will not do it but the temptation is there.

    We did have it out today. I was very tough on her but at the end of each hard truth I gave her I shared a positive/love about her. I saw her countenance change before my eyes. What a breakthrough! I was scared to do it thinking it would send her off the deep end. Facing the truth in love made all the difference. I will work on making that list.

    • MOMKABOODLE says:

      I'm so sorry, Gina, for your struggles right now!

      I am glad that you were able to temper your hard truths with words of affirmation, and that she received it well. I'd love to hear how you do with your list!

  4. Posted my answers on my blog….www.helpmeettosam.blogspot.com

    Looking forward to what the Lord is going to do through this study.

    Angie

  5. My home gets messy, which turns into a vicious cycle of me feeling paralyzed to do anything and get very cranky & short. Emotionally, I have no energy for the kids & withdraw into myself/computer. *sob*
    My fourth baby isn't sleeping much and I'm so weary physically from tending to her and lack of sleep, that emotionally I can't handle much.

    • MOMKABOODLE says:

      Oh Merry, I know! I've done the withdrawing thing, too. I would hug you if I could! Please know that you are not alone.

      I'm sorry that your baby isn't allowing you to sleep at night. Are you able to get some help on the weekends or even one afternoon so you can take a nap? I'm praying that you find some rest and relief! I know how it feels to be so wrung out and feeling like you have nothing left to give.

      Remember that this is a short season, and it WILL pass. Find a verse and cling to it (I talk about this a little in tomorrow's post – do you have a copy of the ebook yet?).

      I will keep you in my prayers, sweet lady!

    • Underhiswings says:

      Oh I sooooo get this I you will read on my comment below!! May God's yoke come quickly upon you as this cycle sets in…paralyzation is all too familiar to me! God is an awesome Healer of that! Much Grace and Peace to you, Merry!! ;D

  6. I am definitely raising my hand. And even though I love words of encouragement, the truth is, I can injure deeply by my tone and what I say that are not gentle. I find myself apologizing tons. They always receive it, but I want my words to build up not tear down and then build up.

    We are so blessed you are hosting this week! I'm a homeschooling mom too! So you know I'll be dropping in! May God bless all who gather here with Hope!

    • MOMKABOODLE says:

      I hear you Stacey, about not wanting to tear down and then build back up again! I've been praying that God will put a guard over my lips, because clearly I cannot control my tongue on my own.

      I'm so pleased to see you here, and very blessed to be an ambassador! I love what you and Brooke have done to work to encourage other Moms – thank you!

  7. Castrodaryl says:

    Whenever I don’t spend time with God as first thing when I wake up, I find myself running against time & this is when I get very impatient with my boys & clash with my very strong willed 8 year old son. When I realize we are all grumbling, defying each other, & I find myself shouting in frustration that is when I start to realize I’m parenting in my own effort & desperately failing in all things. This is when I turn to Lord. Sometimes crying in frustration and at the same time shame for wanting my way instead of obeying His way. Then I turn to my boys, apologize for shouting, discipline them for their disobedience, & we all agree to a “rewind” – start all over again but with smile, hugs, & gentle words. Amazing grace that only God can provide.

    • MOMKABOODLE says:

      I love the rewind idea! You've described a lot of my days, of late.

      Your comment got me thinking…..I think on the days where I don't start out in the Word (and the day is going rapidly downhill, as it is prone to do!), that I need to sit down with my kiddos and have Bible time and show them how we can all use that time to reset our attitudes.

      I actually learned from our MOPs mentor that we should do our own Bible time in front of the kids. (I was always waiting until they went to bed to do mine). But to demonstrate having a personal devotional time to the Lord and setting that good example….!

      • Underhiswings says:

        I agree, that reigning things in by rounding up the kids and reading His word is such a powerful tool, INDEED!

      • Castrodaryl says:

        I agree with doing devotion together with my boys. I just started doing this a few nights back.