I am so tired of feeling ineffective. I feel like we’ve tried it all, and it is NOT working. With the little one (who is not nearly as strong-willed as the big), it works most of the time.
But for the big one, it DOESN’T.
- We’ve tried 3-2-1 Magic (which sorta’ kinda’ works), and a variation of it – counting backward from 5. That works some of the time, as well.
- We’ve tried time-outs: one minute for each year of life and then MUUUUUUCH longer when the 6 minute thing wasn’t working;
- spanking: not my favorite method, and it tends to backfire on us – I’m having trouble saying don’t hit one another when we use spanking to discipline them;
- taking privileges away: computer time, bedtime books, playtime with friends, etc.;
- yelling & screaming: which never works….though it DOES get his attention, at least!;
Did I mention time-out, spanking, and taking stuff away? Oh and the Yelling? (I hate yelling at them!)
Honestly, I’m fresh out of ideas. I do know several things:
- These bouts of HARDNESS (for lack of a better word) and rebellion comes and goes;
- We’ve been cooped up lately w/ sickness, which puts everyone on edge;
- I might possibly have mentioned this already (snicker!), but he’s EXTREMELY strong-willed. And bull-headed…erm…Spirited.
- He is such a sweet, loving boy A LOT of the time…..and he’s VERY smart and VERY creative.
I want to instill in him a heart that WANTS to obey us and God, as well as a heart that leans toward kindness…..but I also don’t want to squash his drive & determination completely.
So I ask you, dear reader of my blog (or, at the very least, reader of this one post!) – what do you do to discipline their children and to “train them in the way that they should go so that when they are old they will not depart from it.”? (Proverbs 22:6)
‘Cuz we could really use the help.
Update: After writing this post, I was looking through my parenting books, and my eye fell on The Way of Boys: Raising Healthy Boys in a Challenging and Complex World by Dr. Anthony Rao. This book is VERY helpful! It basically says that the things that we’re struggling with are pretty typical for 6-year-old boys, and ways to overcome them – Time-Aways, etc.
Also that too much indoor time (which we’ve had more than enough of with the sickness stuff) increases stress in the younguns….and good outdoor play time is healing. Which we did today and ahhh, it helped!
Dr. Rao also mentioned that sometimes these crazy behaviors precede a developmental breakthrough of some kind (keeping my fingers crossed on that one!).
Off to do some more reading. Phew!